Some might call it a shameless attempt to turn a buck, while others will insist it's a way to beat Satan at the toybox level. Religious action figures, including a Rollerblading Jesus, are available for Christmas purchase. Here's a piece on the subject I did a little while back for The Wall Street Journal. God Made Flesh, Then Plastic By Dave Shiflett Anyone seeking a mischievous stocking stuffer for Christopher Hitchens or less exalted scoffers need look no further. A growing phalanx of religious action figures—including Adam, Eve, Daniel, Job, Esther, Goliath, Sampson and Jesus—offer a tweaking reminder that despite Heathendom’s best efforts, the faith-based marketplace is forever expanding. Plastic saints, to be sure, aren’t exactly new. Mary, mother of Jesus, has long ridden shotgun in Catholic vehicles. Yet some of the faithful, including a few with a gift for retail, concluded that she needed reinforcements. David Socha, chief executive of One2believe, which offers a line of religious action figures, told the Associated Press that there is a “battle for the toy box” under way, in which good and evil vie for the young. “If you’re very religious, it’s a battle for your children’s minds and what they’re playing with and pretending,” he said. “There are remakes out there of Satan and evil things.” Old Scratch and associates may now have their hands full. Jesus, for example, comes in several incarnations, including a football player, skier, rollerblader and the best-selling “Baseball Jesus Sports Statue,” offered by Catholic Supply for $20. “A contemporary statue for today’s youth,” the sales pitch says of the figure, promising a hands-on reminder that “Jesus is with us in everything we do, watching over us & involved in all of our acts & activities.” The company’s Web site also anoints its statue with a bit of marketplace myrrh: “As seen on the Conan O’Brien show!” The deployment of Jesus and other biblical bigs to the toy-box war includes some contemporary updates. One supplier, in a bow toward divinity and diversity, offers figures in both dark- and light-skinned models (Adam and Eve, it should be noted, are portrayed in post-fall attire reminiscent of bathing suits). Meantime, at the Family Values Center, there’s Moses ($12.99), who comes with “shield and sword, along with fully illustrated comic book.” Interestingly, two female dolls—Deborah the Warrior and Queen Esther—cost $24.99. Must be their wardrobes. Whether these toys have divine sanction is another matter. At a Web site called Itsyourtimes.com, a minister posted a sour appraisal, noting that the most popular action figure is Samson, “a gambler, womanizer, thief, murderer, arsonist and he was extremely cruel to animals.” The clergyman’s sarcastic conclusion won’t be mistaken for a benediction: “I am so pleased that we finally have some ‘Christian’ role models to inspire our children, instead of those heathen Super Heroes like Spider Man.” Other concerned parties warn that the figures are nothing less than the graven images warned of in the Ten Commandments, indicating a devilish plot of an especially sly and sinister nature may be afoot. Those controversies aside, Mr. Socha’s company has achieved one of this world’s most desirable sanctions: Wal Mart is “test selling” his products at 425 of its 3,376 discount stores and Supercenters, possibly resulting in some serious manna. To no one’s surprise, other faiths are getting in on the action. A company named Kridana, which says it consulted “with Indian parents across the globe,” will begin shipping figures representing Shri Hanuman and Lord Rama this November. “Just in time for the holidays, our first series will help make this year’s celebrations even more memorable for you and your child,” the company promises. “By sharing these toys with the children in your life, you ensure that they will have fun acting out the great epic stories.” Purists may fear ecumenical repercussions. Fully funded toy boxes might easily include figures from different faith traditions and eras, creating an environment rife with historical and ecclesiastical error, and maybe worse. One easily imagines a play session in which Jesus is sent rollerblading past Moses or Lord Rama, perhaps screaming “Out of the way, you geezer!” In the same spirit, there may be awkward efforts to evangelize Barbie and Ken, whose spiritual affiliation has always been kept secret (some suspect a very mild Presbyterianism, augmented by Prozac). All of which may inspire literary scoffers to chortle, though there is humility in remembering that no child will ever play with action figures of grumpy men clattering away at keyboards.
